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OK, so I did something bordering on blasphemous: I made a fanvid from Closet Land, and it's a sort of BDSM... thing. *puts on hat of shame and sits in corner*

It doesn't get much wronger than that. Ew. But I couldn't help myself! Please understand that I am currently in the grip of a crush on all characters played by Alan Rickman, and the potential for transformative sleaze based on this film was just too overpowering for me.

Let it be known that I would rather die than be in the shoes of the woman in the film. That thought doesn't fill me with anything but dread, and frankly I would be worried that there was something (more) wrong with me if it were any different.

That said, let it also be known that I would not in the least mind the task of trying to act my way though that kissing scene. Incidentally, here we also see the reason why I could never be an actor.

This is what would have happened if I had been asked to play Madeleine Stowe's part (not that I can think of a universe alternate enough to admit of such a possibility): we would have made 948574 attempts at shooting the scene where Alan Rickman's character climbs onto her lap and forcefully kisses her. Each attempt would have ended with some variation of

Cut! No, no-no, Warpie, what you are trying to convey is fear and disgust, remember? Let's do it again, and this time without the smiling, please!

Because no matter how many takes, each time I felt those legs straddling me, I would have been wearing a leering grin so lascivious that no blindfold in the world could have done anything to mask it. And then, after take no. 948574, the director and the script writer would have finally agreed to just lose the scene. Or, more likely, to fire the deeply unprofessional actor who was making such a muck of the shoot.

Alan Rickman, for his part, would presumably have been his usual cool and collected self, studying his lines in between takes, feeling more than a little annoyed and perhaps somewhat sexually harassed.

There is, however, one thing I would rather do than sit through those 948574 takes. I would rather see a version of Closet Land featuring no torture at all, but instead a seriously dubcon and highly deserved subduing of Lucius Malfoy by Severus Snape. I cannot tell you how dead of happiness that would make me. The mere thought of it fills me with glee and makes me break into maniacal laughter. That, dear friends, is why I made the vid.

And now, on a slightly more sombre note - Warning: even in a transformative work such as this, the references to psychological and physical - including sexual - abuse in the source material could be triggering.

This is a transformative work based on the film Closet Land (1991). This video is not associated with Imagine Entertainment, and no money has been made from it.
The song fragment used is from Radiohead's 'Climbing up the Walls' which appears on their studio album, OK Computer. Neither Radiohead, nor Parlaphone or Capitol Records are associated with this video.

The actual film had excellent acting and was, for the most part, very well written. It was quite distressing to watch, what with the horrifying subject matter. It would still have been distressing if the torture victim had been male, because torture is not just a 'take-down' - and it certainly isn't about putting someone in their place who has been too arrogant! It was, nevertheless, doubly discomfiting for me with the gender dynamics of a male abuser having a female victim at his mercy because of reasons that ought to be clear enough from my entry about BDSM and submissive women.

That is all. Going back to the corner now. I can't even.